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Liam Hackett, founder and CEO of the anti-bullying charity Ditch the Label, gives advice on what your child should do if they are being subjected to in-game bullying
In-game abuse is a common form of cyberbullying, with gamers being harassed and intimidated by other players, known as ‘griefers’. This abuse can happen while playing on online gaming websites and social media, or while interacting through gaming consoles like Playstation and Xbox.
At Ditch the Label, we define cyberbullying as ‘the use of digital technologies with an intent to offend, humiliate, threaten, harass or abuse somebody.’
It is often hard to know what to do to address and alleviate such a situation. With this in mind, here is a short list of dos and don’ts that you can discuss with your child should they be at the receiving end of in-game abuse’.
1. Don't respond with aggression
Often reacting in an aggressive manner can make the situation worse and put your child at risk of further abuse.
If it’s the first time that a particular gamer has said anything that has upset or offended your child, and they feel it is a safe and appropriate action to take, they could try calmly communicating with the person who is doing the cyberbullying.
Your child should remember to challenge the behaviour, not the person – so instead of accusing the person of being a ‘bully’, they should explain why their actions or words are causing distress.
For example, instead of saying, ‘You’re upsetting me’, they could say, ‘What you said/did has upset me’. If the bullying persists after taking this action, see point 2.
2. Block/report the person that is cyberbullying you
Your child can block and report the users who are bullying them at any time - remember that these options are in place to support and protect gamers from abuse.
The type of gaming environment your child is in will determine which course of action is best to take. They should speak with other gamers that they also know offline and check their headset to see if they can activate options to mute/disable audio chat and turn off the screen text.
They could also contact the game administrators or moderators and report the user.
3. Never give away personal information
We recommend that your child keeps their privacy settings high and doesn’t connect with anybody they do not know offline. People may not always be who they say they are and your child could be putting themselves and those that they care about at risk.
Advise your child to never give away personal details like their full name, telephone number, school, home address etc.
If somebody is exhibiting threatening behaviour, or has your child’s personal information and is giving them the impression that their safety might be at risk, they should contact the police or a trusted adult immediately.
4. Don't take it personally
Your child should remember that the person who is abusing them in-game is the one with the issue, not them. More importantly, it is very likely they don't even know them!
What your child is experiencing is in no way their fault; people experience bullying not because of their sexuality, gender identity, race, appearance, disability or any other unique factor; it is because of the attitude towards that factor. The only thing possible to change is attitudes – your child doesn’t need to change the way they are.
5. Don't seek revenge
Gandhi once said ‘An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.’ Remind your child to think about the repercussions of their actions - what can really be gained by seeking revenge? They might even get themselves in trouble with the game's moderators.
It is far better that they save themselves from the possibility of further trauma and focus on the good things in their life. They should try to look at how they can move forward in a positive way, putting the person who is cyberbullying them firmly in the past.
6. Don't isolate yourself from friends and family
A common, sometimes unconscious reaction to being bullied is to shut down and withdraw from your loved ones. We begin to distance ourselves both emotionally and physically from the very people we need support from.
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Depriving yourself of any sort of support or friendship certainly won’t do anything to resolve the issue.
‘Advise your child to try to keep up with their normal social life and activities they enjoy’
We know it might feel like the best thing to do, but it will only make things worse in the long run by silencing your child and reducing their self-esteem.
Advise your child to try to keep up with their normal social life and activities they enjoy – the distraction will help lift their spirits and remind them of the positive things in their life.
7. Tell somebody you trust
Even if your child doesn’t want to report it, it is important that they tell somebody they trust what they’re going through. Dealing with it alone is extremely stressful, and can be emotionally draining and taxing.
This stress can have impact on all areas of their life, including their mental wellbeing, ability to communicate with others, performance in school, self-esteem etc. Torrent download zatch bell episodes english dub.
It is therefore incredibly important that they tell somebody. It doesn’t even have to be an adult – it could be a friend or somebody at Ditch the Label.
It is vital, during this time, that your child has a support system and people who they can rely on when they are feeling low, or unable to cope.
8. Keep a record
Keeping a record of all interactions with griefers is very important.
Your child should be vigilant from the beginning and take a screen shot of anything offensive. This can be used as evidence when talking with game administrators.
Your child has a responsibility to themselves and other gamers - you never know who you might inadvertently be protecting from future abuse by being proactive right now.
9. Take some time out
When players are immersed in a game it can feel all-consuming – in a good way! However, when an unexpected griefer is thrown into the mix, it can quickly become a very negative and overwhelming experience. Installer creator all version razor12911.
Advise your child to take some time out, step away from the game and remove the cause of stress. Give themselves a chance to see things a little clearer – that way they can decide what the best plan of action is.
It is important during this time to take good care of your child’s health and mental wellbeing.
Little things like eating a balanced diet, exercising, getting a good night’s sleep, relaxing and having quality time with friends and family can really improve physical and mental health, which will in turn, reduce stress.
Reductions in stress can increase your clarity of vision, allowing for better analysis of difficult situations, which will make them much easier to deal with.
Further reading
For more advice and resources on cyberbullying visit the Ditch the label support hub.
Check out this Parent Info article on what to do when your child is being bullied online.
The advice published on Parent Info is provided by independent experts in their field and not necessarily the views of Parent Zone or NCA-CEOP.
First published: January 2017
Updated: May 2018
How does one deal with online trolling/harassment in video games?
Examples of issues I have faced as a player:
- Running a game with friends and having one random player join in and ruin it, constantly
- Playing a game and getting ganged on by a group of players
- Playing a game in which I set some conditions for a room and players try their very best to get me frustrated
- Players threatening to hack my online account and to ban me from games
- Players asking me to relinquish items to them or be mass reported on a game
I would like to know to deal with online trolling or harassment in video games. What can I do, as a player, to fight this off? I am not looking for specific solutions that pertain to individual bullet points above, I am asking how to deal with online bullying and harassment as a whole. What can I do to prevent me from getting targeted by trolls?
Dealing With Bullies Teachers
migrated from gaming.stackexchange.comFeb 4 '15 at 17:50
This question came from our site for passionate videogamers on all platforms.
5 Answers
This is something that I deal with a lot. For the sake of clarity, I primarily play the following games:
- League of Legends (stopped playing after S4 ended)
- World of Warcraft
- Payday 2 (stopped playing ~6 months ago)
- Destiny
- Various other MMOs (RIFT, Swtor, etc..)
Throughout my experience with these games, I have found that there will always be people like this. Yes they are annoying, and yes I sometimes want to throw my computer through the wall before dealing with these people for another minute. So how do I still have my computer?
You want to surround yourself with good people
That's the bottom line, and this is a very simple thing to do. You don't like bad eggs, so why be around bad eggs? If you find some good people to play with, then keep playing with those good people.
Socialize with people and be a good sport. Try to get on the personal level of a conversation, such as a common sports team or region. Bonus points if you can get the other person to willingly discuss something about themselves. I find that the more personal of a level you get with someone, the more likely they'll like you. If you can, make every single person you come across a 'bro'.
Most important of all though is that you want to do this consistently with any person, both good and bad. You can't blame someone for their bad behavior if you don't make any effort to help them grow out of it. Maybe all that person needs is a friend, or maybe they have never attempted a Payday 2 mission as stealth. I find that many people are willing to improve more if they feel that there is some importance with helping or impressing their teammates. This is in contrast with the 'screw it I'm just going to mess around until they kick me' attitude that people can go into when they feel overwhelmed or flustered.
Finally, you want to get these people back in the next game. If you make new friends who have a good attitude and are good at your game, then why not invite them back then next time you're on? As a group, you hold much more weight against potential trolls and the like. That means more support for you and less support for the baddie. It gives someone more incentive to 'play nice'; after-all there's more weight to being accepted by a group, and less going for them by playing out against the group.
Last but not least, don't feed the trolls.
I'm serious about this. If someone wants you to feel bad, chances are they're looking for a reaction. Don't give it to them. Again, try to be supportive and help the player to the best that you can. However don't be afraid to set your foot down. If someone cannot, in their full capacity, act as a decent human being, then you're not obligated to deal with it. Remove the problem, find a replacement, and you're set.
In many MMOs, this is easily accomplished via guilds. In WoW and SWTOR, it is common for end-game content to be attempted by guild-only groups. Be a bad sport, and you can be replaced by someone else in the guild or someone interested in joining the guild. While I have seen many bad eggs, it is very easy for a large guild to almost completely eradicate the problem. For example, in my core raiding group in WoW, people will have to have done a non-core raid with us before joining. We can easily deal with a bad egg in our off-time, and this makes sure that our core group only consists of good players.
In other games such as Destiny or Payday 2, it is simply about forming your own groups. Make some friends, and those friends will make some friends. While there isn't any official 'guild' or similar system in these games, the same ideals will work. Back when I played Payday 2, I would mess around in random missions to find people who were serious about actually playing the game. I then would invite these people when starting the trickier heists because I know that they are competent enough to help.
In most games, there are several ways to beat your opponent.
- Luck, when rolling dice or drawing cards
- Skill, when aiming correctly
- Strategy, when knowing which way to choose
And metagaming, disturbing your foes outside the defined game parameters.
These might include showing a unit early you're not gonna use, having a username connected to a certain stereotype, and trying to throw your enemy off balance by means of insults.
Threatening/harassing outside of games is kind of a long-con. Disheartening the better players so the harasser himself may reign supreme in his tiny pool of hate.
If you think of everything non-game-related thrown at you as metagaming, you can easily handle that stuff by ignoring it or however you feel like.
If you're concerned for an enemy spamming the same move, however shows you need to practice that game some more and might be a valid question on its own.
Some tips I have found from other gamers:
Dealing With Bullies At School
- Players who thrive upon getting people angry or riled up will love it the longer you stay, obviously getting you to the point where you will blow up.
- Stepping away from the game for a short period of time allows you to cool off, and forces trolls and bullies to find someone else to pick on, someone that isn't you.
- Many games offer a report function that allows you to report players or submit tickets regarding harassment in online games.
- Take advantage of this, and make sure to document online bullying. Most game support teams are more than happy to help you and avoid having harassment in the game.
Dealing With Bullies Parents
A lot of Games are played around the world (if not all of them).
When playing Call of Duty, I noticed that there are times of the day and days of the week that are preferable for playing, (at least for me) times when I wouldn't get slaughtered because of my skill level in the game. This also means that certain types of players are on during certain times and days of the week.
Suggestions:
- get offline, do something else, and come back later.
- Practice the game through Campaign mode (if that is an option to the game) or Offline
- Campaign mode or Story Mode is when you play the game through in 1-player mode, all the other players are NPCs (Non Player Characters) or Computer players, so you can usually set the difficulty.
- some games have a Multi-player Training mode also where you can set up the match or level the way you want, amount of players and difficulty and access, you can usually invite your friends and kick players that you don't want in there should they get out of control.
- Turn the volume down/off
- Mute players you don't know (or wish you didn't know) muting players usually means that they cannot hear you and you don't hear them
Ignore it, and them, and grow up. People, in general, are arseholes. As an adult, you should be aware of this.
Most game networks, Steam included, let you ignore individuals and many games will even take these choices into account in their matchmaking. Many online games will let you have private lobbies so you can restrict games to just your friends.
Some people are douchebags, and present as such more in their online interactions than they would in real life. There is no effective way to deal with these people other than ignoring them.
'Threats' online are rarely credible. People probably don't know where you live, unless you tell them. They probably aren't capable of gaining access to your game accounts without error on your part.